Actress Lily Collins and her husband, director Charlie McDowell, recently shared the joyous news of the arrival of their first child, Tove Jane McDowell, born via surrogacy. The couple made the announcement on February 1, 2025, through a heartfelt Instagram post showcasing their newborn girl, capturing both the excitement of new parenthood and the complexity of their surrogacy decision.
Collins, known for her role in the popular Netflix series Emily in Paris, expressed their immense gratitude to the surrogate, posting, "Words will never express our endless gratitude for our incredible surrogate and everyone who helped us along the way. We love you to the moon and back again…" This sentiment conveyed their appreciation but also opened the door for mixed reactions from their followers.
While many fans and famous friends rushed to offer their congratulations, others took to social media to criticize the couple's route to parenthood, voicing misguided assumptions about surrogacy. Comments ranged from disparaging the couple's choice to use a surrogate to harsh judgments on their parenting decisions, reminiscent of the prevalent stigma around assisted reproduction methods.
McDowell, who is 41 and the son of actresses Mary Steenburgen and Malcolm McDowell, responded to the backlash directly within the Instagram comments. He wrote, "It’s ok to not be an expert on surrogacy. It’s ok to not know why someone might need a surrogate to have a child. And it’s ok to spend less time spewing hateful words… especially in regards to a beautiful baby girl who has brought a lot of love to people’s lives." His comment not only addressed the criticism but also emphasized the importance of empathy and refraining from judgment.
Further stressing his point, McDowell humorously added, "That’s all for now because she just pooped and I need to change her diaper." This personal narrative helped to soften the serious nature of the topic, using lightheartedness to counter the negativity surrounding their announcement.
Despite the criticism, the couple received overwhelming support and congratulations from several well-known personalities. Friends and fans alike flooded the post with positive and heartwarming messages, celebrating Tove's arrival and the love surrounding her. For example, actress Nina Dobrev shared her joy with a simple white heart emoji, echoing the sentiments of many who supported the couple during this challenging time.
The public response reflects broader societal discussions about surrogacy, which remains stigmatized by some who might not fully understand the circumstances prompting couples to seek this route. Many of these critics lack knowledge of the personal journeys others have taken, which can be laden with difficulties or medical complications.
Collins, who hails from musical royalty as the daughter of the legendary Phil Collins, and McDowell have been candid about their desire for family. Their decision to use surrogacy brought both supporters and detractors to the forefront of their new reality as parents. The couple's experience highlights the importance of creating open dialogues around surrogacy and challenging prejudices within society.
Reflecting on their love for their daughter, Collins and McDowell shared, "We are overjoyed and very grateful." Their connection to Tove signifies the essence of their family unit, as they navigate parenthood with love and gratitude, even amid challenges from public scrutiny.
Through their experience, the couple seeks to humanize the surrogacy discussion, moving beyond sensationalized narratives to include the beautiful, personal stories of love and devotion. Their candidness and willingness to address hostility showcases their commitment to maintaining their child's welfare and championing for families who face similar scrutiny.
McDowell's stance resonates well beyond their immediate narrative; it calls for respect and kindness when discussing others' choices to have children. The birth of Tove Jane McDowell marks not just the couple's happiness, but also offers an opportunity for reflection among audiences about surrogacy as one of many pathways to parenthood.
Such discussions, strengthened by personal accounts like those of Collins and McDowell, can pave the way for broader acceptance and compassion toward alternative family-building methods, fostering environments where love and joy overshadow negativity and judgment. Addressing surrogacy from both personal and social perspectives reinforces the notion of working toward inclusivity and support for growing families, regardless of how they come together.