Families can sometimes fracture over the most unexpected issues, and for Toon and Ruud, it wasn't politics or money but rather their choice of snacks. This bizarre feud was brought to light on the popular Dutch television program Het Familiediner, hosted by Bert van Leeuwen, as they navigated years of tension stemming from purchasing decisions at the local snack bar.
The catalyst for this longstanding conflict occurred during a visit to Grandma's house, where family members were tasked with ordering food from two different snack establishments. Danny, their son and nephew, explained, "We prepared for this large order, and my grandmother was left with quite the bill of over €150. That's quite hefty for someone of her age!" Danny suggested splitting the costs, unaware this would spark his uncle Ruud's ire.
Ruud's anger stemmed from Danny’s mother ordering from two snack bars instead of one, leading to his fury over the situation. "When Ruud found out there were two snack bars involved, the atmosphere soured immediately," Danny recounted. Ruud confronted Danny's mother first, and this was soon followed by Toon entering the fray, resulting in him throwing all of the food away. "He took all the food and dumped it, and we left just like this!" Danny chuckled, reflecting on the absurdity of it all, but the feud only began there.
Months later, tensions escalated after Ruud made comments pertaining to Danny's mother's hospital stay, which struck Toon wrong, prompting him to remark about Ruud's deceased wife. The two exchanged insults, resulting in Ruud severing all ties with his brother, one of the final acts to prevent reconciliation.
Bert van Leeuwen stepped up to help bridge the divide during the taping of this episode. After hearing the brothers' stories, he realized the sensitivity of their situation. Ruud opened up about his son's food preferences, which played heavily on his mind when ordering from the snack bar. He stated, "My son has autism and does not enjoy all foods. We had agreed on what to order, and when it wasn’t adhered to, I felt disregarded."
This incident, paired with the previous hospital comment from Toon, left Ruud feeling hurt and unwilling to forgive easily. Toon, on the other hand, acknowledged his past mistakes. "I had immediate regret over my comments concerning Ruud's wife," he expressed. He mentioned having attempted to apologize but felt those words did not resonate with Ruud, who believed they lacked sincerity.
Ruud expressed his internal conflict, stating, "My heart says yes, but my head says no," reflecting his mixed feelings about making amends. Despite his apprehensions, Ruud did show up for the family dinner, albeit he decline the signature limousine ride for fear of the media's attention and fuss.
Upon their face-to-face meeting for the first time in years, there was palpable tension, but also hope. They greeted each other with surprising warmth, initially sharing pleasantries before addressing the underlying animosity. Ruud remarked, "What’s this nonsense we’re doing, letting food orders come between us?"
During this heartfelt discussion, Toon admitted his missteps and wanted to seek forgiveness. "I think apologies are important, and I'm here to make things right. I hope we can talk this through," he urged. The moment was charged with emotion, showcasing the potential for reconciliation. Ruud hesitated momentarily but then extended his hand, signifying acceptance of the apologies presented. "Apologies accepted," he said decisively, hinting toward future dialogue.
This touching resolution was particularly potent, with Ruud stating, "Whole of the Netherlands needs to understand, when you communicate and listen, you get much farther than fighting." The episode of Het Familiediner stands as a reminder of the commonality of family feuds and the importance of addressing them directly, no matter how awkward or trivial the beginnings may seem.