On March 19, 2025, during the BBC’s annual Richard Dimbleby Lecture, former England football manager Sir Gareth Southgate delivered a poignant message about the plight of young men in today’s fast-evolving social landscape. Central to his address was the alarming notion of an increasing number of young men feeling isolated, highlighting a concerning trend where toxic online influences are filling the void left by traditional role models.
In his speech, aptly titled The Beautiful Game: Building Belief and Resilience in a Younger Generation, Southgate explained how many boys and young men are increasingly turning to online resources for guidance. However, he lamented that these journeys often lead them into realms of harmful distractions such as gaming, gambling, and pornography. “Young men are suffering. They are feeling isolated,” he pointed out, adding that they are grappling with their identity and their place in society.
Southgate articulated his fears regarding the kind of role models young men are finding online. “They are callous, manipulative and toxic influencers, whose sole drive is for their own gain,” he said. According to him, these figures promote a false perception of success, which is often equated to wealth and dominance, suggesting that showing emotion makes one vulnerable.
“They willingly trick young men into believing that success is measured by money or dominance, that strength means never showing emotion, and that the world – including women – is against them,” Southgate added, making it clear that this mindset does not provide the nurturing they need.
Reflecting on his own experiences in the football world, Southgate recounted a defining moment from his past when he missed a crucial penalty in the Euro 1996 semi-finals against Germany. He explained how that incident, while painful, pushed him towards establishing resilience and belief in himself. “Missing that penalty was undoubtedly a watershed moment that made me stronger, a better man,” he confessed. He compared this moment to Eric Dier’s successful penalty kick during England’s victorious run in the 2018 World Cup, illustrating how a shift in mindset over the years has taken place within English football.
In his lecture, Southgate emphasized that belief and resilience are cultivated through experiences and should be nurtured, not just in sports but in all areas of life. He stated that young men must not fear failure, as these moments can lead to growth. “If we make life too easy for young boys now, we will inevitably make life harder when they grow up to be young men,” he cautioned.
As part of his commitment to addressing these issues, Southgate highlighted several organizations that are already making strides. Future Men is one such charity that supports boys and men from childhood to 25+, helping them improve mental health and well-being while addressing stereotypes around masculinity. Through their work, they encourage positive attitudes about masculinity and resilience.
Mike Nicholson, the founder of Progressive Masculinity, conducts workshops to support boys from as young as nine years old, promoting open discussion about masculinity and encouraging boys to shape their identities positively. “Our approach is based on creating safe, non-judgmental spaces where boys can explore their masculinity,” Nicholson explained.
Another essential initiative highlighted was the White Ribbon charity, which works to engage men and boys to prevent violence against women and promote respect in relationships. Their involvement sends a clear message to young men about the importance of positive conduct and emotional intelligence.
Additionally, the ‘Maaate’ campaign, launched in 2023 by the Mayor of London, aims to equip men with the tools needed to intervene against misogynistic behavior they may witness. This prevention-oriented strategy is critical in fostering a safer environment for everyone.
Southgate's critique was not without its pushback. Ukie, the UK's trade body for video games, expressed disappointment at his characterization of gaming. In a letter, they argued that video games have a positive impact, connecting people and fostering creativity. Nevertheless, Southgate maintained that without adequate mentorship and community engagement, many young men are at risk.
Southgate’s call to action underscores the need for men to embody the values of integrity, humility, and respect. “How you treat others is more important than how much money you make,” he asserted. His message resonates with an urgent reminder that real-life connections are crucial in fostering healthy masculinity, as young men navigate a world frequently criticized for its rigid norms and expectations.
In closing, Southgate encouraged society to focus efforts on creating a supportive environment where young men can develop their identities and grow through their struggles. “We must create a world where they find comfort in their own identity and a sense of belonging to those around them; where they feel they live in a culture that doesn’t judge them only by how well they succeed, but by how much they grow,” he specified.
The discourse surrounding young men's mental and emotional well-being is indeed pressing, and Sir Gareth Southgate’s lecture has sparked a vital conversation about the influences that shape their lives. As society casts a critical eye on the experiences of boys and young men, it becomes clear that the support they receive today will shape the men of tomorrow.
