KSI, the YouTube megastar turned chart-topping musician, has recently opened up about his battle with depression, shedding light on the emotional toll his towering achievements have taken. Despite being worshipped by legions of fans and earning around £25 million annually as one of Britain’s elite gamers and content creators, KSI found himself grappling with the existential question, "Is this it?" as he pondered the immense pressure from his career and personal life.
Born Olajide Olatunji, KSI has transitioned from YouTube star to multifaceted professional boxing champion and musical artist, maintaining significant influence over millions. He mentioned reflecting on his life choices and career path, stating, "Before I didn't. You know, you'd get depressed, you'd get sad. You wonder 'Do I want to do this?' or 'Why am I doing this?'" These feelings led him to take breaks from social media to reassess his direction, particularly during 2017 when he chose to step away from YouTube for six or seven months.
During this period of introspection, KSI experienced what he described as a midlife crisis: "I need to just leave the internet. I had like a midlife crisis. I was like 'Is this it? Is this my life? Am I just going to be doing this for the rest of my life?" The break provided KSI with time to travel, enjoy life away from the limelight, and rediscover his passions beyond the confines of YouTube.
Although initially resistant to the idea of therapy, perceiving it as a sign of weakness, he eventually opened up to the process. KSI has credited therapy for helping him find contentment across all aspects of his life. He remarked, "I've got 'Legacy' tattooed on my back. And that's one of the most important words for me. Because, you know, when I die, I want to be remembered – 'you know what, I used to watch him, and he made me laugh, maybe at times he made me cry, but f**k me, man, he made a difference to how I felt.'" Theimportance of therapy has become part of his regular routine; he attends sessions whenever he feels overwhelmed.
To clarify his relationship with therapy, KSI stated, "It's not like I see a therapist all the time, every week. It's like whenever I feel something is happening or I'm not in a good spot. Booking the session, work it all out. Sometimes it could take a few weeks, a few months - could take a week. Then I'm back to being me again." His admission of undergoing therapy when needed highlights the importance of mental health awareness and its openness, especially among public figures.
Much of KSI's struggles stem from the expectations placed on him, particularly those from his upbringing. He expressed, "With me, you know, having African parents, it's a lot of pressure. The pressure to be the best, to be the breadwinner of the family, pressure to just do well all the time." Through therapy, KSI gained perspective, stating, "But with the therapist I was able to really see my parents in a different light and see it from their point of view. They were happy to put themselves in debt just to give us the opportunity for a good education." His reflections have led to reconciliations within his family dynamic and contributed to the affectionate relationships he shares today.
KSI's story serves as both personal testimony and beacon of hope to countless fans and followers who may resonate with his struggles. The impact of finding actionable steps toward mental well-being is significant, and his candidness helps to dismantle the stigmas surrounding mental health. He reflected on the path of forgiveness, saying, "I think, for me, the way to really resolve everything is just forgiveness." This perspective has converted his past pains and expectations from his parents and himself, propelling him toward success.
Today, at the age of 31, KSI’s goals have shifted, prioritizing family aspirations alongside his professional endeavors. He stated, "I want to have kids. I want to get married. I kind of want to just live life. I still want to release music and fight, but I think having kids and marriage is the next step for me." His shifting priorities articulate not merely personal achievements but have emphasized the importance of building strong foundations for future generations.
By sharing his experience, KSI indicates the authentic blend between fame, mental health, and personal honesty, opening channels for others who may fight similar battles to seek help and embrace their true selves. His story truly reflects the transformative power of vulnerability and the enduring quest for self-acceptance and love.