When did Christmas cards get so intense? If you've ever ordered matching holiday plaids in September for a seasonal family photo montage, you might understand the growing pressure behind the modern tradition of family photo Christmas cards. While these cards can bring joy and share love during the holiday season, for many parents, they’ve morphed from simple greetings to elaborate undertakings, often adding to the already hefty mental load of the holiday season.
With the hustle and bustle of the festive season, the mental strain feels palpable. Mom influencer Abby Eckel captured this sentiment well when she remarked in a viral TikTok, "It's not just mailing out the Christmas cards." There’s so much more involved: finding the right photographer, coordinating schedules, choosing outfits, selecting images, printing the cards, addressing envelopes, and of course, making trips to the post office. The process can seem overwhelming, and for many, it's become difficult to see the joy among the hustle.
Dayna Roberts, a 42-year-old mother based in Ottawa, shared her own struggle with sending out holiday greetings. She tries to print and send personalized Christmas cards every year but admits the pressure typically falls on her. “This year, because of the Canada Post strike, I'm not sure I'll send them at all, aside from maybe some hand-delivered cards,” she said with resignation.
Statistics show mixed feelings about the custom of sending Christmas cards. While some polls indicate it’s becoming less popular, other studies reveal many still prefer physical cards to connect with family and friends. A 2021 Ipsos poll conducted for Shutterfly indicated significant gender disparities—women are more likely to send cards than men. It also divulged troubling statistics about holiday stress, noting one in six parents reported elevated stress levels, particularly moms.
Modern parenting has its unique obstacles, as U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy pointed out earlier this year. Families today are entrapped by social media's pervasive culture of comparison, which can lead to unrealistic expectations about holiday celebrations. With over 40,000 TikTok videos tagged “Christmas photoshoot” and trends on Pinterest promising picture-perfect family holiday outfits, the pressure to achieve such standards is immense.
Laura Stanford, another Ottawa mom, expressed her mixed feelings on family photo cards. "I have a love-hate relationship with them," she says, recalling the yearly struggle to get her children to cooperate for the photos. Standards seem to shift with each passing holiday season, making families feel they must pull out all the stops just to keep up. Stanford reflected, "It feels like people are becoming more elaborate with their photos every year. The pressure is there, even if we’re told it shouldn't be."
And what is the historical backdrop of this tradition? Interestingly, according to Smithsonian Magazine, the origin of Christmas cards was rooted in making life easier, not harder. The first-ever Christmas card was commissioned back in 1843 by Sir Henry Cole, who got tired of unanswered Christmas letters. He asked for a card design with space for names, eliminating the need to write out individual greetings. Yet, somehow, this time-saver turned holiday task has evolved from being simple to utterly complex.
Julie Romanowski, a parenting coach, noted the pitfalls of this culture during Christmas. Families often find themselves caught up trying to create the perfect festive experience, resulting not only in holiday cards but also extravagant gifts and exhaustive celebrations. Romanowski encourages families to reflect on what their holiday truly means to them. She suggests asking oneself, "Is it about calm? Joy? Peace?" Rather than succumbing to external pressures, parents should focus on what traditions resonate with them.
So where does the balance lie? Families are beginning to find their way by leaning on their own ideals of holidays rather than societal expectations. For some, this means scaling back on elaborate cards and embracing the unique recollections shared through more personal and manageable means. Others choose to forego the tradition entirely, feeling it brings more stress than joy.
One of the reasons this practice endures is the value placed on physical connections, even when digital options abound. Despite the convenience of sending e-cards or messages through social media platforms, many prefer the tactile experience of mailing physical correspondence, which brings its own kind of warmth and nostalgia.
Meanwhile, organizations continuing to promote photo card traditions play on nostalgia and emotional attachment, advertising special deals on festive templates and highlighting short turnaround times. Despite the marketing push, families grapple with this expectation. The Pacific Institute of Community Engagement revealed last year how parental participation rates fluctuate, with personalization often ratcheting up the stress.
It's too common for parents to get sucked down the rabbit hole of idealistic celebrations showcased online. Despite all the pressures, each family must determine what traditions they will embrace and what they might need to let go of. With mental health being increasingly recognized as pivotal to family happiness, the notion of keeping up with others isn’t necessary when celebrating your own family’s story.
Practically, families can reclaim some of the joy associated with Christmas cards by simplifying their approach. Sending fewer, but thoughtful cards—perhaps through hand-delivery—can reduce the stress level significantly. Some families opt for digital photo-sharing instead, using social media to showcase their yearly highlights without the added pressure of printed cards and mailing journeys.
Christmas cards, originally crafted to ease communication, have morphed as society's expectations expanded, and parents now struggle under the weight of these traditions. The conversation around holiday cards is reflective of broader societal stresses, and as families navigate this time of year, it’s worth considering how the custom can evolve to serve their needs rather than hinder their happiness. What was intended as joy can become just another entry on the long to-do list during the celebratory season.
