In a quiet corner of rural Utah, Hannah Neeleman, a mother of eight and self-proclaimed "queen of the trad wives," has perennialized her life of home and hearth into a captivating blend of family life and social media fame. As the operator of the flourishing Instagram account @BallerinaFarm, she curates an idealized portrayal of motherhood, a life steeped in love, livestock, and long-standing traditions. Yet, beneath this picturesque surface lies a complex story of determination, resilience, and challenges that resonate deeply in today’s fast-paced world.
Hannah, once an aspiring ballerina at the prestigious Juilliard School in New York City, fell in love with Daniel Neeleman and traded in her ballet shoes for a life on a sprawling 328-acre farm, a decision she made when her husband insisted on starting a family before she graduated. Now, the couple raises their children—Henry (12), Charles (10), George (9), Frances (7), Lois (5), Martha (3), Mabel (2), and Flora (6 months)—while embracing the values of their Mormon faith.
The term "trad wife"—a label that Hannah confesses she does not entirely embrace—encapsulates her domestic endeavors, which include everything from milking cows to baking sourdough from scratch. Since gaining attention for competing in a beauty pageant just days after giving birth, her following has surged to over nine million Instagram users captivated by her idyllic snapshots of life on the farm. However, Neeleman insists that while they adhere to traditional roles, they also push beyond normative boundaries imposed on women, noting, "We are traditional in the sense that it's a man and a woman, we have children, but I do feel like we're paving a lot of paths that haven't been paved before."
For many, the allure of large families is woven deeply into the fabric of Americana, harkening back to the days of reality television shows featuring large clans, such as the Duggars and their 19 Kids and Counting saga. Today, as the birthrate in the United States continues to fall, and economic pressures mount, a growing number of influencers have begun to document life with numerous children online, capitalizing on a societal fascination with familial abundance. Despite the modern struggles families face, watching large families can provide a unique escape or even a sense of reassurance at a time when many feel overwhelmed.
As audiences flock to TikTok and Instagram to glean insights into how these families operate, there remains a sharp criticism of the trad wife movement and its romanticized portrayal of domestic life. Critics voice their concerns that influencers, while promoting a seemingly idyllic world, often operate from a place of significant economic privilege. Hannah’s father-in-law, billionaire David Neeleman, founded JetBlue Airways, adding another layer to the critique of her lifestyle as unattainable for most.
Despite these criticisms, Hannah's day-to-day reality is anything but easy. Early mornings involve preparing meals for her eight children, tending to animals, and managing the household without any hired help. "We don't employ nannies," she states. "Daniel helps with housework and the kids' laundry while I shop for groceries and cook meals from scratch." Even amidst her social media success, the pressures of motherhood and the demands of their farm work take a toll on her health, often leading to bouts of exhaustion where she finds herself bed-ridden for days at a time.
This blend of hardship and triumph encapsulated in her Instagram posts paints a multifaceted picture of motherhood. While viewers see immaculate family photos showcasing joyful occasions, it belies the sleepless nights, physical exhaustion, and emotional turmoil faced by many parents. Hannah candidly shares, "There are days I feel old and worn out, and I question whether I can keep having more kids." The portrayal of her world, while visually appealing, can provoke conversations about the societal expectations of mothers and the overwhelming pressures many face to conform to the "perfect" family image.
Within the digital discourse around large families, many influencers like Hannah provide a model of hope and a remedy for modern anxieties about parenting. They reflect dreams of a simpler life, nurturing tethers to nature, and the heartfelt joys of family bonding—yet they often wrap these aspirations in layers of complexity. As Hannah reflects, "It's very much a matter of prayer for me—asking God if it's time to bring another one to the Earth, and until now, I’ve never been told no." This statement, where faith guides family growth, resonates for many viewers who grapple with their notions of family and motherhood.
Consequently, Sisterhood movements and feminist ideologies spark discussion around whether women can embody both traditional roles and modern empowerment. Hannah shuns definitive labels, stating, "I don't even know what feminism means anymore. There are so many different ways you could take that word." This reluctance to label herself aligns with a broader narrative of women trying to reclaim their agency, illustrating that varying definitions of empowerment exist and can coexist.
As discussions on social media surrounding the trad wife phenomenon continue to draw both admiration and ire, the fundamental inquiry remains: What does it mean to embrace traditional gender roles in contemporary society? Are such roles empowering or restrictive?
Ultimately, Hannah’s story resonates as a reflection of our times. She embodies a struggle familiar to many—balancing an ever-demanding family obligation with the societal expectations of productivity and happiness. Even though her life appears steeped in simplicity, it is layered with complexity and nuance, forces that compel many to reconsider what motherhood and womanhood mean today. In the end, perhaps her sentiment encapsulates the heart of this conversation: "We try so hard to be neutral and be ourselves, but people will label everything. This is just our normal life."
