One day, you’re an all-powerful CEO, star wife, and mother, and the next day you're eating out of your young intern’s hand, quite literally. How is this contradiction possible, if it is a contradiction at all? The answer for both Nicole Kidman’s character in Halina Reijn’s film Babygirl and for many others who identify as BDSM submissives lies in the elusive concept of subspace: a metaphorical space and altered state one submits to during a kink scene, thanks to arousal and exchange of consent.
The notion is very new to Romy Mathis (Kidman), whose performance won her the Volpi Cup for Best Actress at this year's Venice Film Festival. She's the sharply dressed big boss with her hair always pinned up until she meets Samuel (Harris Dickinson): a much younger, cocky, and borderline rude intern wearing a suit twice his size, filling it with ego. Romy finds herself trembling when Samuel controls a stray dog about to jump on her in the street with just a mere whistle and nod. From this seemingly passing interaction, the flows of her desire steer the narrative toward unknown waters of ambivalent wants and surrender, as Romy and Samuel begin an affair based on the exploration of dominance and submission.
According to Lina Dune, kink educator and host of the Ask a Sub podcast, a Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship affords "a ritual space," where equal, consenting adults negotiate boundaries and create "a container where things can transform and alchemize." Speaking to Mashable, director Halina Reijn champions this dual meaning of "scene," noting how, for her, Babygirl is about performing. "Of course, in a BDSM setting, there’s a lot of performing," she says, "but sex can also be very performative." This theme informed conversations with Kidman, exploring the character's authentic self. "Romy thinks she has to perform the perfect mother, lover, wife, leader," Reijn explains, "and we are all a little bit like. What we forget to do is be ourselves and accept whoever we are."
What sets Babygirl apart is its depiction of dominance and submission as processes of negotiation, rather than as polished acts. The film's kink scenes feel real and inviting because they reveal the inner workings of a control exchange. Samuel umms and ahhs, trails off, and laughs amid commands, whereas Romy resists, backs out, and changes her mind, allowing for relatability and authenticity.
Subspace, defined within the D/s community, refers to the altered state experienced during submission. Dune explains this concept encapsulates feelings ranging from elation to detachment, likening it to "getting high on your own supply." Reijn’s long-time collaborator, cinematographer Jasper Wolf, executes this subtlety through handheld work, capturing the transformations of characters' emotions rather than relying on overt visual cues.
Halfway through the film, Romy and Samuel meet at a cheap hotel to escape the outside world. Here, their affair becomes free from societal expectations. A pivotal moment involves Samuel wrestling Romy to the ground, marking the initiation of their power dynamics. The camera captures Romy’s facial reactions, showcasing her emotional arc, with Wolf stating, "it's like an honest and sometimes relentless gaze on what is going to happen" between them.
Words often fail to describe subspace, Dune muses, attributing the lack of language to societal norms around masculinity. Babygirl portrays characters who are vulnerable and willing to reveal their truths to one another. Wolf notes the camera embodies Romy's inner world, transforming alongside her character throughout the film.
The production team engaged intimacy coordinator Lizzy Talbot to establish clear boundaries during the shooting of intimate scenes. Dickinson emphasizes, "If you approach [sex] scenes with too much trepidation and sensitivity, it can be anxiety inducing; you need someone very direct and pragmatic." Reijn even brainstormed with Talbot during the writing process to help navigate the nuances of what she describes as deeply intimate scenes.
Later, Samuel directs Romy from across the suite, commanding her actions without physical contact. Wolf reveals their faces are highlighted, with minimal nudity, depicting how sharing subspace allows them to perceive one another with renewed clarity. "It’s not in your face and it shouldn’t be," he shares, explaining this creative choice leads viewers to interrogate their perceptions of the characters.
Where other films like Secretary equate submissive kink with trauma, Babygirl presents nuanced narratives, showcasing desires without destructive consequences. Dune notes the depiction of empowered submissives is growing, reflecting larger shifts within cinematic portrayals.
Halina Reijn’s Babygirl pushes boundaries through its innovative use of imagery, symbolism, and character dynamics, exemplifying how even the most mundane objects, like milk, can transform intimate interactions and signify broader themes of surrender and awakening.