E.A. Hanks, the daughter of acclaimed actor Tom Hanks, has opened up about her complex relationship with her stepmother, Rita Wilson, in a revealing interview with People. In her new memoir, The 10: A Memoir of Family and the Open Road, E.A. reflects on her childhood, her parents' tumultuous divorce, and the pivotal role Wilson has played in her life.
At 42 years old, E.A. shared that she considers Rita more than just a stepmother. "Rita's not really a stepmother, she's my other mother," she stated. She emphasized that her father and Rita have been together since she was just four or five years old, indicating a strong bond formed early on in her life. Tom Hanks married Rita Wilson in April 1988, nearly three years after his split from E.A.'s biological mother, Samantha Lewes, who was born Susan Dillingham.
Reflecting on her family dynamics, E.A. explained that her parents—meaning her dad and Rita—have been the constant figures in her life. Along with E.A., Tom Hanks shares a son, Colin, 47, with Lewes, and he welcomed two more sons, Chester "Chet," 34, and Truman, 29, with Wilson in the 1990s. E.A. noted, "I don't think I've ever really referred to them as my half brothers, which I guess they technically are. Because Chester was five when I moved to Los Angeles and Truman had just been born...So neither of them remembers a time when I didn't live with them."
After her parents divorced in 1985, E.A. and Colin lived with their mother in Sacramento, six hours away from their father's home in Los Angeles. E.A. recalled that her visits with Tom and Rita were limited to weekends and summers. However, things took a significant turn when she was 14 years old, following an incident of physical violence with her mother.
In her memoir, E.A. describes the chaotic environment of her childhood home. She writes, "The backyard became so full of dog [excrement] that you couldn't walk around it, the house stank of smoke. The fridge was bare or full of expired food more often than not, and my mother spent more and more time in her big four-poster bed, poring over the Bible." This neglect and turmoil led to a pivotal moment in her life when she moved to Los Angeles to live with her father and Rita after her mother's emotional violence escalated to physical abuse.
"One night, her emotional violence became physical violence, and in the aftermath, I moved to Los Angeles, right smack in the middle of the seventh grade," E.A. recalled. This transition marked the beginning of a new chapter in her life, where she found stability and support from her father and stepmother.
Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson's marriage has been a source of strength for E.A. as she navigated her complex feelings about her upbringing. She appreciates the role Rita has played in her life, stating, "I think we're all kind of in that era of trying to get our own thing going and individuate and all of that, but we're a posse." E.A. has often expressed gratitude for the love and support she received from Rita during her formative years.
In her memoir, E.A. also delves into the darker aspects of her childhood, revealing the alleged abuse she endured from her mother after her parents' divorce. She notes that her mother became neglectful, emotionally abusive, and eventually physically abusive, which contributed to her decision to move in with Tom and Rita.
"From the outset, he has supported The 10," E.A. said of her father's involvement in her writing journey. "Whether it was swapping cars with me, helping me pick out camping gear, or being the first reader." Tom Hanks was also instrumental in fact-checking her writing, ensuring that her portrayal of her mother was accurate. "The conversation we had once he had read a very early draft was exactly what I needed to hear, which was that I had depicted my mother accurately. This is what it was like to both love and fear her," E.A. explained.
Throughout her memoir, E.A. reflects on her experiences growing up in the shadow of her father’s fame while grappling with her mother's struggles with addiction and mental illness. She candidly shares her childhood experiences attending 12-step programs instead of spending time with a babysitter, revealing a life marked by instability and emotional turmoil.
Despite the challenges she faced, E.A. has emerged with a sense of resilience and a desire to understand her past. Her road trip from California to Florida, which serves as the backdrop for her memoir, is a journey of self-discovery as she attempts to reconcile her childhood memories with her current life.
As E.A. reflects on her relationship with Rita Wilson, she acknowledges the importance of family bonds and the complexities that come with them. She recognizes that while her upbringing was fraught with difficulties, the love and support she received from her father and Rita have shaped her into the person she is today.
In sharing her story, E.A. hopes to shed light on the impact of family dynamics and the importance of resilience in the face of adversity. Her memoir, The 10: A Memoir of Family and the Open Road, is now available, offering readers an unvarnished look at her journey and the lessons she has learned along the way.
