The name Dr. Ruth is synonymous with open, candid conversations about sex, a topic that was often shrouded in taboos and silence before she burst onto the airwaves. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the petite dynamo who revolutionized how America talked about sex, passed away at the age of 96, leaving behind an indelible legacy.
Born Karola Ruth Siegel on June 4, 1928, in Frankfurt, Germany, Dr. Ruth was the only child in a well-off Orthodox Jewish family. Her early years were idyllic until the advent of the Nazi regime threw her life into turmoil. Her father was taken away to a labor camp during the infamous Kristallnacht in 1938, and to save their daughter, her mother and grandmother sent her to Switzerland on a kindertransport. That train ride was the last time she saw her family, who perished in the Holocaust.
At 10, she found herself an orphan in a foreign country, living in an orphanage where German Jewish children had to serve Swiss children. Despite the hardships, Ruth found strength in the new name she adopted, leaving her birth name behind to become simply Ruth.
Her harrowing wartime experiences didn't crush her spirit. In fact, they seemed to ignite a fire within her. She moved to Palestine at the age of 18, where she trained as a sniper for the Haganah, the Jewish paramilitary organization. She once said, “I never killed anybody, but I could have if I needed to,” a testament to her resilience and determination to survive and protect her people.
After recovering from injuries sustained in a bomb blast in Israel, Ruth moved to Paris to study psychology at the Sorbonne. She then made her way to New York, where she continued her education, working as a maid and teaching herself English through romance novels. It was in America that she truly found her calling.
Ruth met her third husband, Manfred Westheimer, in New York, and they married in 1961, beginning what she described as her “real marriage.” She pursued a doctorate in education at Columbia University, focusing on the field of human sexuality. Her work caught the attention of Cornell psychiatrist Helen Singer Kaplan, leading to a professional partnership that would change the course of Ruth’s career.
The turning point came in 1980 when a public radio station, WYNY, was looking for someone to host a show about sex education. Betty Elm, the station's community affairs manager, thought Ruth was perfect for the role despite her thick German accent. What started as a 15-minute slot evolved into the live call-in show “Sexually Speaking,” marking the beginning of Ruth's transformation into Dr. Ruth.
Dr. Ruth's approach was unlike anything America had seen before. She discussed intimate subjects with humor and straightforwardness, providing practical advice in her distinctive accent. “When people needed to learn about oral sex, I would say go buy an ice cream cone and practice,” she once quipped. Her relatable and non-judgmental style resonated with listeners, turning her into a pop culture icon.
This skyrocketing fame led to a series of television appearances and collaborations, including guest spots on shows like “The Tonight Show” and “Late Night with David Letterman.” She became a media fixture, writing a syndicated advice column and authoring more than 60 books aimed at demystifying sex and promoting healthy, open discussions.
Dr. Ruth also used her platform to advocate for empathy and compassion, particularly during the early days of the AIDS crisis. Her work helped shift mainstream perceptions of sex and sexuality, emphasizing love and pleasure over shame and stigma.
Her personal history of overcoming adversity made her a beacon of resilience. Dr. Ruth's life was a testament to the power of resilience and determination. Despite losing her entire family in the Holocaust and starting anew in a foreign country, she triumphed over adversity. This remarkable journey from orphan and sniper to renowned sex therapist and beloved public figure will be remembered for generations.
Even in her later years, Dr. Ruth remained active, engaging in public speaking, writing, and even releasing a children’s book titled “Crocodile, You’re Beautiful.” New York Governor Kathy Hochul appointed her as the state’s honorary ambassador to loneliness in 2023, recognizing her lifelong commitment to helping others.
Dr. Ruth’s passing marks the end of an era, but her teachings and spirit live on through the countless lives she touched. She is survived by her two children, Miriam and Joel, and four grandchildren. Reflecting on her life, Dr. Ruth once said, “With such a difficult beginning like me, having been an orphan at the age of 10 years old — no parents, no brothers and sisters — all I feel is gratefulness.” Her legacy serves as a powerful reminder of the impact one person can have on breaking barriers and changing societal norms.