Billionaire Barry Diller, who has been married to fashion icon Diane von Furstenberg since 2001, has come out as gay. Diller, 83, addresses his relationships with men in a new essay titled "The Truth About Us, After All These Years," published by New York Magazine on May 6, 2025, ahead of the release of his memoir, Who Knew.
In this candid piece, Diller reflects on his life and relationships, stating, "While there have been a good many men in my life, there has only ever been one woman, and she didn’t come into my life until I was 33 years old." He elaborates on the complexities of his romance with von Furstenberg, now 78, describing it as a blend of "romantic love and deep respect, companionship and world adventuring, then disappointment and separation, and finally marriage." The couple first met in 1974, experienced a tumultuous relationship that included a split from 1981 to 1991, and ultimately married on February 2, 2001.
Diller has long been aware of the speculation surrounding his sexuality. He admits, "I have never questioned my sexuality’s basic authority over my life (I was only afraid of the reaction of others)." He acknowledges that his relationship with von Furstenberg has caused confusion, stating, "I’m well aware that this part of my life has caused confusion and lots of speculation." He adds, "A relationship that began with indifference, then exploded into a romance as natural to us as breathing, surprised us and everyone else. It really is the miracle of my life." This revelation comes after decades of speculation about his sexual orientation.
Reflecting on his past, Diller explains how he had only been romantically involved with men before meeting von Furstenberg. He writes, "When my romance with Diane began, I never questioned that its biological imperative was as strong in its heterosexuality as its opposite had been. When it happened, my initial response was, 'Who knew?'" He emphasizes that while he has had relationships with men, this does not conflict with his love for Diane, stating, "And, yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane. I can’t explain it to myself or to the world. It simply happened to both of us without motive or manipulation. In some cosmic way we were destined for each other."
In the essay, Diller also speaks to the changing landscape of sexual identity, asserting that "sexual identities are much more fluid and natural, without all those rigidly defined lanes of the last century." This perspective resonates with many in today's society, where discussions about sexuality and identity have evolved significantly.
Diane von Furstenberg has not yet publicly commented on Diller's essay, but in a 2010 interview, she shared her views on their relationship, saying, "Barry has loved me unconditionally for 34 years. I did leave him, and I went with other men, but they always ended up being jealous of Barry and not the other way around." She acknowledged the unconventional aspects of their marriage, revealing, "At the end, he got me, and I’m happy he got me. He’s the pillar of our family." Von Furstenberg, who has two adult children, Alexander and Tatiana, from her previous marriage to Prince Egon von Fürstenberg, has maintained a supportive relationship with Diller despite their unique marital arrangement.
As Diller reflects on their past, he recalls moments of passion and connection, stating, "Plain and simple, it was an explosion of passion that kept up for years." He also recounts a humorous incident where music mogul David Geffen walked in on him and von Furstenberg during a private moment, highlighting the unexpected nature of their relationship even in its early stages.
Despite the ups and downs, Diller's love for von Furstenberg has remained steadfast. He writes, "Today, sexual identities are much more fluid and natural, without all those rigidly defined lanes of the last century. I’ve always thought that you never really know about anyone else’s relationships. But I do know about ours. It is the bedrock of my life. What others think sometimes irritates but mostly amuses us. We know, our family knows and our friends know. The rest is blather." This statement underscores the deep connection and understanding the couple has forged over the years.
As the public grapples with Diller's revelation, questions about the future of their relationship linger. While it remains unclear how this openness will affect their marriage, it is evident that Diller's admission has provided a new layer of understanding to their long-standing partnership.
In conclusion, Barry Diller's decision to publicly address his sexuality marks a significant moment in his life and sheds light on the complexities of love and identity. His candid reflections not only reveal his personal journey but also contribute to the broader conversation about sexual fluidity and the nature of relationships in today's world.
