Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland’s former first minister, has laid bare the profound personal and political turmoil she endured during a police investigation into Scottish National Party (SNP) finances, describing the ordeal as "mental torture" in her forthcoming memoir, Frankly. The book, slated for release on August 14, 2025, has already sent ripples through the Scottish press, with newspapers and broadcasters highlighting its revelations about her arrest, her private struggles with miscarriage, and the persistent rumors surrounding her sexuality.
According to excerpts published by The Times and widely reported by outlets including Sky News, STV, and National World, Sturgeon recounts June 11, 2023—the day she was arrested and questioned by police—as "the worst of my life." She paints a harrowing picture of the months leading up to that moment, marked by sleepless nights and anxiety that left her waking "at the crack of dawn every day, having barely slept, with my stomach in knots, wondering if this would be the day it happened."
The investigation stemmed from £660,000 that had gone missing from SNP accounts, a scandal that rocked the party and Scotland’s political establishment. Sturgeon’s then-husband, Peter Murrell, the SNP’s former chief executive and treasurer, was arrested and charged with embezzlement. Their home was searched, and Sturgeon, along with party colleague Colin Beattie, found themselves under the intense scrutiny of law enforcement and the press. "Being the subject of a high-profile criminal investigation for almost two years, especially having committed no crime, was like a form of mental torture," Sturgeon writes in her memoir, as quoted by National World.
After her arrest, Sturgeon retreated to the northeast of Scotland to stay with a friend, seeking solace in the vastness of the North Sea. She recalls, "I spent hours looking out across the North Sea. At first, I wanted to somehow disappear into its vastness. Slowly but surely, though, the sea calmed me." The year that followed was filled with "dread and anxiety," as there were no updates on the case. It wasn’t until April 2024, when Murrell was re-arrested and charged, that the investigation’s end seemed in sight.
On March 20, 2025, Sturgeon received word that she would face no further action—a month after she and Murrell announced their separation. She describes the moment as one of "deeply mixed emotions," writing, "The feeling of relief, and release, was overwhelming." Despite her exoneration, the emotional toll of the ordeal lingers. "I retain both faith in and respect for our country’s criminal justice system. However, none of that changes this fact: being the subject of a high-profile criminal investigation for almost two years, especially having committed no crime, was like a form of mental torture," she reiterates.
Sturgeon’s memoir doesn’t stop at her political tribulations. She opens up about intensely private experiences, including a miscarriage she suffered in 2010. She became pregnant at age 40, after years of ambivalence about parenthood—a topic she explores with candor. "I felt guilty about being pregnant, about not feeling happier about being pregnant, about not being as happy as Peter was, about hiding that from him," she confides. The pregnancy was announced to family on Christmas Day, but just days later, she noticed spots of blood, leading to an urgent scan at Glasgow Royal Infirmary on December 31, 2010. The nurse’s face told her the devastating truth: "The baby was gone." Four days later, on January 4, 2011, the miscarriage was confirmed.
Despite being in "constant agony," Sturgeon returned to work immediately, even attending a memorial event for the 40th anniversary of the Ibrox disaster. She describes the emotional aftermath as "desolate and heartbroken," consumed by guilt that she had done something to cause the loss. She writes, "I had the presence of mind to call Peter into the bathroom and, together, we flushed our ‘baby’ down the toilet. We later resolved to try again, but I knew then that we had lost our one chance." The loss, she says, is something she will mourn for the rest of her life. She believes the child would have been a girl named Isla, a name that remains close to her heart.
Beyond her personal grief, Sturgeon addresses the relentless swirl of rumors about her sexuality, particularly the widely circulated but baseless claim that she had a "torrid lesbian affair" with Catherine Colonna, the French ambassador to the UK, in 2020. The rumors, she reveals, were not only false but tinged with "blatant homophobia." She writes, "In one of the variants of the story, there had been a violent encounter between us, involving an iron, in Edinburgh’s Balmoral Hotel. We had also supposedly set up a love nest, in a house in Bridge of Allan, that I had bought from Andy Murray’s mum, Judy."
Sturgeon reflects on the impact of such stories, noting that they led to friends, family, neighbors, and colleagues being questioned. While the lies "got under her skin," the nature of the insult itself was "water off a duck’s back." She asserts, "Long-term relationships with men have accounted for more than 30 years of my life, but I have never considered sexuality, my own included, to be binary. Moreover, sexual relationships should be private matters." She decries the use of "lesbian" and "gay" as insults, highlighting the persistent undercurrent of homophobia in political discourse.
Amid the darkness, Sturgeon also shares moments of pride, such as passing her driving test at age 53—a small but significant personal achievement during a period otherwise dominated by turmoil.
The anticipation surrounding Frankly is palpable, with Scottish newspapers devoting front-page coverage to its revelations and STV preparing a televised interview with Sturgeon to coincide with the book’s release. The memoir promises not just a behind-the-scenes look at one of Scotland’s most consequential political scandals, but an unflinching account of the personal costs of public service.
Sturgeon’s willingness to confront her own vulnerabilities—her "conflicted" feelings about motherhood, the pain of miscarriage, the strain of public scrutiny, and the challenge of living authentically in the face of rumor—offers readers a rare window into the human side of political leadership. It’s a story of resilience, regret, and the search for solace amid chaos. For many, her words will resonate far beyond the confines of Scottish politics, speaking to the universal struggle to find meaning and dignity in the face of adversity.
