On September 5, 2025, what should have been a day of joy and fresh beginnings at Thai Thinh Primary School in Dong Da, Hanoi, took a turn that left many parents and students reeling. Instead of just the usual fanfare of uniforms, flags, and smiling faces, an LED board at the school’s opening ceremony displayed a list titled "List of disadvantaged students receiving gifts at the new school year opening ceremony 2025-2026." The list didn’t just include the students’ names and classes—it went further, detailing deeply personal circumstances: children whose parents had divorced, those with disabilities, cancer patients, and students from families facing significant financial hardship.
According to Cafebiz, this public disclosure was not just a fleeting moment. It was broadcast in front of hundreds of students, parents, teachers, and even guests. For many, the sight was shocking. "I could not believe that this was how a school chose to give gifts to its students on opening day. It was thoughtless, even tactless," wrote Ng. Th. Thủy, a parent from Hanoi, in a heartfelt opinion piece. She described how, as she scrolled through social media expecting to see cheerful photos of children celebrating the start of a new academic year, she was instead confronted by this public display of private pain.
Thủy’s reflections strike a chord with anyone who remembers the vulnerability of childhood. She recalled her own years as a student from a poor family, when support was given discreetly. Teachers would hand out forms to every student, collect information privately, and later provide assistance without fanfare. "I knew I was poor, but I never felt ashamed. Instead, I felt respected and cared for in a very humane way," she shared. The memory of receiving a few notebooks and a backpack from her teacher, along with the quiet encouragement to "keep up the good work," remains a source of strength for her to this day.
But the scene at Thai Thinh Primary School was starkly different. The details of each child's hardship were laid bare for all to see. As Tuổi Trẻ reported, the list was shown during a school presentation attended by the entire student body, all teachers, parents, and even outside guests. The intent, presumably, was to highlight the school’s commitment to supporting students in need. Yet, the execution left many questioning whether good intentions can excuse a lack of sensitivity.
For parents like Thủy, the emotional impact was immediate and profound. "My heart ached," she wrote. "What will those six- or seven-year-old children think when they see their names listed alongside descriptions like 'disadvantaged family,' 'orphaned,' or 'cancer patient'? Will they feel sad or ashamed? Can they hold their heads high as they accept their gifts in front of hundreds of peers and parents?"
Other parents echoed these concerns. One mother, Lan Anh, recounted a similar experience: "My husband and I divorced, and once my child was handed an envelope as a gift for students with special family circumstances. My child refused to accept it, but cried when we got home." Such stories highlight that, while the act of giving is important, the way in which it is done can leave lasting scars.
The backlash was swift and widespread. Many parents voiced their outrage, arguing that the school’s actions violated their children’s privacy and risked causing psychological harm. As Tuổi Trẻ noted, "The act of publicizing the list of disadvantaged students at such a large event has caused upset among many parents who felt it violated students' privacy and could negatively affect the children's psychology."
Thai Thinh Primary School responded quickly to the controversy. On its official fanpage, the school posted a public apology: "At the opening ceremony for the 2025-2026 school year, Thai Thinh Primary School made a serious mistake by publicly displaying the list of students with difficult circumstances on the screen in front of all students, parents, and guests. The school deeply recognizes that this was a regrettable error and a costly lesson for us to improve our organizational and educational work." The statement, while prompt, did little to quell the ongoing discussions among parents, many of whom continued to debate the incident and share similar stories from other schools.
The incident has reignited an age-old debate in education: Is transparency always a virtue, or can it sometimes clash with the need for compassion and privacy? The Vietnamese proverb "Của cho không bằng cách cho"—roughly translated as "The manner of giving is as important as the gift itself"—has been cited by parents and commentators alike. As Tuổi Trẻ pointed out, "It is regrettable that the 'wrong way of giving' happened in the educational environment on the very first day of school for these young children."
For many, the episode is a stark reminder that children, though young, are acutely sensitive to how they are treated. "Adults often forget that children, though small, are extremely sensitive. A casual remark or a different look can leave a deep mark on their tender souls," Thủy observed. She argued that no child wants their schoolyard to know their parents have divorced or that they are battling a serious illness. What adults may see as "objective information" can feel like an unwanted spotlight on a child’s difference—one they never chose.
Both articles agree: Supporting students in difficult circumstances is not just necessary, but admirable. However, the manner in which this support is delivered matters immensely. "A gift, no matter how small, if given with sensitivity, can become an invaluable source of encouragement. But if given thoughtlessly, it can become a psychological wound that is hard to heal," Thủy wrote in Cafebiz.
In the aftermath, many parents hope that schools across the country will take this incident to heart. The call is not to end support for disadvantaged students, but to ensure that such help is given with discretion, empathy, and respect. "Transparency must go hand in hand with humanity," Thủy urged. "We are teaching our children about empathy and about not mocking or discriminating against others. But what will they learn if the very adults guiding them are the ones drawing lines and naming differences?"
The controversy at Thai Thinh Primary School is a cautionary tale for educators everywhere. In the rush to do good, it’s all too easy to overlook the feelings of those we seek to help. As the new school year unfolds, many hope that this "costly lesson" will lead to more thoughtful, compassionate practices—and that the dignity of every child will be honored, not just in words, but in every action.
