Demi Moore's long-lost diary, which provides intimate glimpses of her life during the tumultuous 1980s, has resurfaced just as the acclaimed actress prepares for what might be her first Oscar win. The diary was left behind when her ex-husband Bruce Willis cleared out his storage hangar at Santa Monica Airport and was later found discarded. Now, pieces of her past are shedding light on the struggles she faced as she navigated the wild world of Hollywood.
Moore, 62, has been awarded significant accolades recently for her role as an aging actress who undergoes radical transformations through a mysterious serum in the film The Substance. Notably, she is up for prestigious awards at both the Golden Globes and SAG Awards this year. Alongside her professional resurgence, her diary details her intense battle with substance abuse and the turbulent relationships she experienced.
The diary, comprising numerous pages filled with her personal musings, was penned during the mid-1980s when Moore was entangled with actor Emilio Estevez. Following her marriage to musician Freddy Moore, which ended acrimoniously, those pages became her sanctuary, documenting memories woven with joy, heartbreak, and the harrowing reality of addiction.
One particularly explosive confession hints at her infidelity just the night before her wedding to Freddy Moore. "We had lived together for two years, his divorce was final, and he wanted to get married right away – I had just turned eighteen," she recounted, adding, "Late, hungover and guilty was how I faced my wedding day – the next three years didn't get any brighter – I drank more and started doing coke – had quite a few affairs, which were all just part of getting away with something and not getting caught." Moore’s candid reflections reveal deep regret and self-reproach, as she dramatically expressed her disgust for both her substance use and her actions toward others during those years.
The entries also reveal her deep infatuation with Estevez. "Every time he called ‘it would make my heart jump’,” she wrote, showcasing the stark dichotomy between her romantic aspirations and her spiraling substance abuse. Their relationship, marked by passionate highs, also led to dangerous lows, with one January 1986 entry reflecting on her blackout after drinking heavily with Estevez. "So much for never drinking hard liquor again," she noted with bitter irony, recounting feeling lost and longing for drugs to ease her pain.
Moore’s reflections are also contextualized by tragic memories from her childhood, including attempts to save her mother from suicide and heavy alcohol abuse, which plagued her formative years. This early exposure to dysfunction and addiction contributed to her prevailing struggles as she sought acceptance and perfection within the unforgiving Hollywood environment.
Her tumultuous past, which she narrates with unfiltered honesty, creates anticipation for the narrative arc of her official memoir Inside Out, published in 2019, which touched upon her life but fell short of some more shocking revelations documented within these recently discovered diary pages.
While she recalls moments of overwhelming love and joy, like the excitement she felt during her on-again off-again relationship with Estevez, there were also devastating struggles, some of which caused her to end their engagement when Estevez faced a paternity suit.
Meanwhile, the actress recalls stormy relationships with her mother, Virginia Guynes, whose struggles with alcoholism mirrored Moore’s own battles. The complexity of these relationships is echoed throughout Moore’s diary entries as she navigates her turbulent childhood marked by her parents' heavy drinking and volatile behavior.
Despite her past, Demi Moore's current life paints a different picture. She has re-established her career, full circle, as she garners praise for her most recent performance. Moore reflected, "I had finally won a role because of the quality of my work and not my looks," underscoring her determination to move past earlier struggles. The actress has expressed hopes to receive the Academy Award, publishing her aspirations within her diary as she outlined her future goals, including stable relationships and successful motherhood.
On the personal front, Moore once again found herself reflecting on her failed marriages, particularly her union with Willis during which they welcomed three daughters together, Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah. Her relationship with Willis has remained amicable after their separation, allowing them to co-parent effectively. Recently, Moore has been supporting Willis and his current wife, Emma Heming, as he confronts challenges related to dementia.
Looking back, Moore candidly assessed her tumultuous life choices and often regretted her actions informed by the chaos of her youth. Entries from her diary illuminate unique insights rarely shared publicly; they juxtapose the flamboyant life of Hollywood against the tender heart of the young girl who struggled to define her worth amid various tribulations.
Now, as the Oscar ceremony approaches, Moore stands poised at the forefront of Hollywood’s recognition, reminding us all of the resilience she has shown throughout her fluctuated career and personal life. Her newfound success not only stands as evidence of her artistic evolution but also as validation of the hard-earned lessons learned from her past to reshape her future.