Christmas, for many, is a season wrapped in joy, family gatherings, and the comforting repetition of tradition. But behind the tinsel and the carols, for countless people, it’s also a time when grief cuts deepest—a reminder of empty chairs at the table and laughter that’s faded into memory. This December, as festivities unfold across the UK, stories of loss and resilience are emerging, shining a light on the quiet challenges faced by those who mourn during what’s meant to be the happiest time of the year.
Nicky Wake, from Manchester, knows this struggle all too well. In 2020, she lost her husband Andy after he suffered a cardiac arrest, leaving her to navigate the uncertain world of hospitals and care facilities before ultimately facing life as a widow. "Christmas is a reminder of everything that you've lost and everywhere you look there are happy families having wondrous times," Nicky told the BBC. She recounted the surreal pain of opening Christmas cards wishing her a "very Merry Christmas and a fabulous New Year," only to think, "next year isn't going to be fabulous because the one thing that I want isn't here."
It’s these raw, honest feelings that led Nicky to establish The Widowed Collective, a support group designed to help others who have experienced the death of a partner. The group offers a safe space for difficult conversations and mutual support—a place where, as Nicky puts it, "We're here to help, we're here to listen as we've walked that path." She describes it as "a club no one wants to join, but once you're in, you're not alone."
The Widowed Collective isn’t the only group providing comfort to the bereaved at Christmas. In Manchester, another initiative—Let's Talk About Loss—was founded by Eleanor Maher, Katharine McCallum, and Phil Hargreaves to support young adults aged 18 to 35 dealing with grief. For Phil, the holiday season is a poignant reminder of his mother’s absence. "It's just the memories for me," he said. "Like my mum running around making Christmas dinners. That's not going to happen again. Now it's literally just me and my dad, so it's very quiet."
Katharine, too, finds herself grappling with the loss of her father, especially at Christmas. "He was the turkey carver, the chef, the bucks fizz server—so it's figuring out who's going to do those jobs now and it's a tough reminder," she shared with the BBC. Eleanor, reflecting on her own loss, emphasized the importance of peer support: "You don't have the experience of supporting someone through grief at this age, usually." The group believes that sharing stories with others who have experienced loss helps break down barriers of fear, judgment, and awkward silences. Katharine summed it up: "Just hearing other people and other young people going through it you go 'oh thank god, it's not just me'. It's happening everywhere and there are people I can talk to if I want to talk to them."
These stories of community and solidarity come at a time when public figures are also opening up about their own grief. Jodie Ounsley, known to millions as Fury from the hit BBC show Gladiators, faced heartbreak just days before she was set to compete in the Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special. Jodie, 24, lost her father, Phil Ounsley, aged 56, to a sudden heart attack while he was hiking Pen-y-Ghent, a 2,277ft mountain he had climbed "countless times" throughout his life. Paramedics tried desperately to save him and he was airlifted from the peak, but the rescue mission came too late, according to the Daily Mail.
Devastated, Jodie admitted she considered withdrawing from the festive dance competition. "I was in two minds of whether to go ahead, but my dad was so excited to come and watch and he supported me in everything," she told the Mirror. "It's weird because on the inside I am heartbroken but people like Neil and the guys at Strictly are just putting a smile on my face." Ultimately, it was her mother who reminded her how proud her father had been of her accomplishments, encouraging her to continue. Jodie resolved, "I'm just gonna imagine that he's there watching and I'm gonna dance like he's there and then do my best."
Jodie later took to Instagram to share her grief with followers, posting: "Heartbroken. Yesterday, my dad suddenly passed away while doing one of his favourite things—walking Pen-y-Ghent... He had hiked that peak countless times throughout his life, but none of us knew he wouldn't walk back down that day. I don't have the words... All I can say is that he was, and always will be, my absolute hero. He encouraged me to dream big and loved me wholeheartedly, and for that I will be forever grateful. Until we meet again, Dad." Her words resonated with many who have faced similar losses, especially during the holidays.
Phil Ounsley, a mixed martial arts expert and avid sportsman, was described by friends and family as fit, charitable, and always willing to help others. "Phil was perfectly fit and healthy. His death has come as such a shock to all who knew him," a source told The Sun. "He was such a genuinely great guy and did a lot for charity. And he was always exercising and pushing himself to help others. Phil is the last person you would expect something like this to happen to due to the lifestyle he lived. It is such a surprise for his wife Jo, daughter Jodie and son Jack and his whole family are all obviously devastated."
Jodie’s journey is remarkable for more than her recent loss. Profoundly deaf from infancy, she received a cochlear implant as a child, becoming one of the youngest people in the UK to undergo the procedure. A former rugby union player and jiu jitsu champion, she told Daily Mail: "I’m absolutely buzzing to be doing the Strictly Christmas Special. Being the first female rugby player means a lot to me too. I honestly can’t wait to get stuck in, I’m used to smashing into people so this is definitely going to be a challenge!"
As Christmas Day approaches, both public figures and ordinary people are finding ways to honor their loved ones and support each other through the pain of loss. Whether it’s through organized groups like The Widowed Collective and Let’s Talk About Loss, or through personal acts of remembrance and resilience, the message is clear: grief does not take a holiday, but neither does hope. For those facing an empty seat at the table this year, the comfort found in shared stories and compassionate communities can make all the difference.
